Hello,
Here is a B2 mediation task done by my B2 students. Read the instruction of the activity and read the different mediation tasks and their corrections to see different ways of mediation. Some of them are more appropriate while others are less appropriate taking into account the evaluation criteria:
TASK 1: Make a summary of the following tip to protect the environment. Make use of the information provided in the text below. Do not write the literal information in the original text in the new text. Remember to reformulate the text linguistically. Do not write more than 80 words and use a formal register.
| TIP
EATING TOO MUCH MEAT, FISH AND FRUIT
These foods are important for our diet, although they are not very healthy for the natural environment. In a 2018 report, Greenpeace warned that 14.5% of all greenhouse gas emissions (GHG) come from industrial stock farming. The meat industry, for example, negatively affects land use because between 75 and 80% of the world’s agricultural land is used for stock breeding. But if this same land were used for growing vegetables, there could be food for 4 billion people more.
Overfishing does not help to protect the environment either because it harms the sea. You can also be a responsible fruit consumer by choosing seasonal varieties.
(Text with 105 words without including the title)
STUDENT A:
Eating too much meat, fish and fruit.___ (Write here an engaging title)
Despite the fact that meat, fish and fruit could be considered necessary for our diet, the environment is damaged by their production.
A Greenpeace study reveals that 14.5% of all greenhouse gas emission is originated in industrial farms.
If the ground used by meat factories were fewer we could use it to feed more people, about 4 billion people more.
Sea is damaged too by overfishing.
TEACHER´S CORRECTION:
Fulfilment:
70 words, correct format (title included), relevant information (summary of relevant ideas)
Cohesion:
Not enough cohesion devices to go from one sentence to another. Just “despite” and “and” within a sentence. Punctuation mistake when using the subordinate if-clause at the beginning of the sentence (e.g. If the ground…… (?) we could….”)
Mediation Strategies:
Mediation strategies put into practice: summarizing.
Linguistic reformulation:
Repetition of terms in the original text (e.g. for our diet, Greenpeace, 14,5% of, all greenhouse gas, emission, 4 billion people more, overfishing, title repeated ). Repetition of vocabulary (e.g. damaged, could). No grammatical structures of the level, just a simple second conditional and some simple passive sentences). Grammar mistakes (e.g. all greenhouse gas emission is > all greenhouse gas emissions are//e.g. fewer > less (“ground” as a synonym for “area of land” is uncountable, so you can´t use “fewer”)//e.g. “…is damaged too by overfishing” > is damaged by overfishing too/is, too, damaged by overfishing . (“too” is usually placed at the end of a clause, but it can also appear in the middle of a sentence just for emphasis and in this case, you need to use commas with “too”. Correct register
STUDENT B
Healthy and sustainable food___ (Write here an engaging title)
According to the latest breaktroughts, population consume an awful a lot of meat, fish and vegetables which leads our planet to be destroyed. Some scientists claim that people should reduce the emission of greenhouse gases which are produced by the meat manufacture industry in order to avoid global warming. Moreover, farmers advise us to eat suitable and seasonal varieties of fruits and vegetables in order to reduce the environmental impact. What is more, they suggest decreasing overfishing which results in the destruction of the wildlife. |
TEACHER´S CORRECTION:
Fulfilment:
85 words, correct format (title included), fulfilment of the task (summary of relevante ideas)
Cohesion:
Some cohesion devices (e.g. What is more, Moreover). Some punctuation mistakes when using sentential relative clauses with “which” (e.g. which leads/which results in). No paragraphs
Mediation strategies
Mediation strategies put into practice: summarizing and giving advice.
Linguistic reformulation
correct formal register, variety of terms which are not in the original text (e.g. experts, claim, an awful lot of, lead sthg. to, result in, environmental aspect, wildlife, decrease, global warming, in order to, consume, population, suggest, etc.). Repetition of some grammatical structures (e.g. relative clauses: which leads ….//which are produced by..//which results in…). In the sentential relative clauses used the tense used “which leads//which results in” is not probably the best tense. It would have been more coherent to use a modal verb for possibility showing a possible consequence in the long term of the idea previously mentioned . Some vocabulary mistakes (e.g. breaktroughs > breakthroughs//e.g. population > the population//e.g. …they suggest > experts > if you write “they” the referent is “farmers” and I do not think it is farmers who suggest decreasing overfishing//e.g. the wildlife > wildlife//). |
STUDENT C
Danger in the environment_____ (Write here an engaging title)
Frankly speaking, I consider that meat, fish and fruit are advisable for health nonetheless, they are detrimental to the environment since Greenpeace informed us of the disadvantages of the negative gases expelled by meat companies.
Therefore, if we used the land to plant vegetables, we would get food for a large number of people.
Besides we have fishing, which is another problem as well.
Were I you, I would choose fresh products since with this we help to protect the environment.
It is in your hand, select the right.
TEACHER´S CORRECTION:
Fulfilment:
89 words, correct format (title included), fulfilment of the task (summary of ideas, yet some ideas in the new text are not the ideas in the original text).
Cohesion:
Punctuation mistakes (e.g. for health nonetheless, they…> Revise the punctuation with connectors such as “nonetheless”/”Besides”/etc. The distribution of the last paragraphs is not appropriate (i.e some one-line paragraphs)
Mediation strategies:
Mediation strategies put into practice (e.g. summarizing and giving advice). Despite the fulfilment of summarizing, some ideas in the original text are not transmitted appropriately (e.g. meat, fish and fruit are detrimental to the environment since Greenpeace informed us of…..> this idea is not coherently transmitted as what the text says is that we know that meat, fruit and fish are detrimental to the environment due to a warning by Greenpeace, not that meat, fruit and fish are dangerous to our health because Greenpeace informed us of sthg., that is, it´s not the information by Greenpeace that is the direct cause of the fact that these foods are dangerous to the environment//e.g. Besides, we have fishing, which is another problem as well > the exact problem is not fishing, the problem is overfishing, that is, the process of taking so many fish from the sea.
Linguistic reformulation:
formal register (personalization) (e.g. Frankly speaking, I consider…//e.g. Were I you, I would//e.g we would), some advanced terms (e.g. detrimental, a large number of, expelled, nonetheless). Repetition of some connectors (e.g. since). Some vague terms (e.g. with this > with this action). A grammatical structure of the level (e.g. second conditional with inversion). Repetition of the second conditional. Unfinished ideas (e.g. select the right (?) > the right what? Use a noun to be specific “food/feed/meal” or at least “thing”. Some mistakes or better ways to express the information (e.g. it is in your hand, select the right > it is in your hand to select….//e.g. …with this we help to….. > with this we would/could/can help…//e.g danger in the environment > environment in danger
