Mediation (Samples)
Hello,
Here is a B2 mediation task done by my B2 students. Read the instruction of the activity and read the different mediation tasks and their corrections to see different ways of mediation. Some of them are more appropriate while others are less appropriate taking into account the evaluation criteria:
TASK 1: Make a summary of the following tip to protect the environment. Make use of the information provided in the text below. Do not write the literal information in the original text in the new text. Remember to reformulate the text linguistically. Do not write more than 80 words and use a formal register.
TEACHER´S CORRECTION:
85 words, correct format (title included), fulfilment of the task (summary of relevante ideas) Cohesion: Some cohesion devices (e.g. What is more, Moreover). Some punctuation mistakes when using sentential relative clauses with “which” (e.g. which leads/which results in). No paragraphs Mediation strategies Mediation strategies put into practice: summarizing and giving advice. Linguistic reformulation correct formal register, variety of terms which are not in the original text (e.g. experts, claim, an awful lot of, lead sthg. to, result in, environmental aspect, wildlife, decrease, global warming, in order to, consume, population, suggest, etc.). Repetition of some grammatical structures (e.g. relative clauses: which leads ….//which are produced by..//which results in…). In the sentential relative clauses used the tense used “which leads//which results in” is not probably the best tense. It would have been more coherent to use a modal verb for possibility showing a possible consequence in the long term of the idea previously mentioned . Some vocabulary mistakes (e.g. breaktroughs > breakthroughs//e.g. population > the population//e.g. …they suggest > experts > if you write “they” the referent is “farmers” and I do not think it is farmers who suggest decreasing overfishing//e.g. the wildlife > wildlife//). |
STUDENT C
Danger in the environment_____ (Write here an engaging title)
Frankly speaking, I consider that meat, fish and fruit are advisable for health nonetheless, they are detrimental to the environment since Greenpeace informed us of the disadvantages of the negative gases expelled by meat companies.
Therefore, if we used the land to plant vegetables, we would get food for a large number of people.
Besides we have fishing, which is another problem as well.
Were I you, I would choose fresh products since with this we help to protect the environment.
It is in your hand, select the right.
TEACHER´S CORRECTION:
Fulfilment:
89 words, correct format (title included), fulfilment of the task (summary of ideas, yet some ideas in the new text are not the ideas in the original text).
Cohesion:
Punctuation mistakes (e.g. for health nonetheless, they…> Revise the punctuation with connectors such as “nonetheless”/”Besides”/etc. The distribution of the last paragraphs is not appropriate (i.e some one-line paragraphs)
Mediation strategies:
Mediation strategies put into practice (e.g. summarizing and giving advice). Despite the fulfilment of summarizing, some ideas in the original text are not transmitted appropriately (e.g. meat, fish and fruit are detrimental to the environment since Greenpeace informed us of…..> this idea is not coherently transmitted as what the text says is that we know that meat, fruit and fish are detrimental to the environment due to a warning by Greenpeace, not that meat, fruit and fish are dangerous to our health because Greenpeace informed us of sthg., that is, it´s not the information by Greenpeace that is the direct cause of the fact that these foods are dangerous to the environment//e.g. Besides, we have fishing, which is another problem as well > the exact problem is not fishing, the problem is overfishing, that is, the process of taking so many fish from the sea.
Linguistic reformulation:
formal register (personalization) (e.g. Frankly speaking, I consider…//e.g. Were I you, I would//e.g we would), some advanced terms (e.g. detrimental, a large number of, expelled, nonetheless). Repetition of some connectors (e.g. since). Some vague terms (e.g. with this > with this action). A grammatical structure of the level (e.g. second conditional with inversion). Repetition of the second conditional. Unfinished ideas (e.g. select the right (?) > the right what? Use a noun to be specific “food/feed/meal” or at least “thing”. Some mistakes or better ways to express the information (e.g. it is in your hand, select the right > it is in your hand to select….//e.g. …with this we help to….. > with this we would/could/can help…//e.g danger in the environment > environment in danger
Thanks a lot for your help.
The original text says ‘because it harms the see’. That makes me laugh since it’s like a pun. It’s said (at least in Spanish) that misspellings harm the eyes.
BTW, reading this entry we also realize how difficult is to correct our works.
The original text says: «It harms the sea». «See» was a spelling mistake when typing the text, hehe! Already corrected!
It is really difficult to correct writings as sometimes we don´t know what the student means when expressing certain ideas and coherent mistakes are not easy to explain.